Eternal Flame
by Bob Kanefsky and Julia EcklarThis is a parody of God Lives on Terra by Julia Ecklar. For more information, visit Songworm.
I was taught assembler
in my second year of school.
It's kinda like construction work
with a toothpick for a tool.
So when I made my senior year,
I threw my code away,
And learned the way to program
that I still prefer today.
Now, some folks on the Internet
put their faith in C++.
They swear that it's so powerful,
it's what God used for us.
And maybe it lets mortals
dredge their objects from the C.
But I think that explains
why only God can make a tree.
For God wrote in Lisp code
when he filled the leaves with green.
The fractal flowers and recursive roots:
the most lovely hack I've seen.
And when I ponder snowflakes,
never finding two the same,
I know God likes a language
with its own four-letter name.
Now, I've used a SUN under Unix,
so I've seen what C can hold.
I've surfed for Perls, found what Fortran's for,
got that Java stuff down cold.
Though the chance that I'd write COBOL code
is a SNOBOL's chance in Hell.
And I basically hate hieroglyphs,
so I won't use APL.
Now, God must know all these languages,
and a few I haven't named.
But the Lord made sure, when each sparrow falls,
that its flesh will be reclaimed.
And the Lord could not count grains of sand
with a 32-bit word.
Who knows where we would go to
if Lisp weren't what he preferred?
And God wrote in Lisp code
every creature great and small.
Don't search the disk drive for man.c
,
when the listing's on the wall.
And when I watch the lightning
burn unbelievers to a crisp,
I know God had six days to work.
So he wrote it all in Lisp.
Yes, God had a deadline.
So he wrote it all in Lisp.
Eternal Flame was performed by Julia Ecklar: